365: The Reboot

My Paw Paw was a cook.  He was many things to many people, but everyone knew his cooking.  When we were little we would wake up to the smell of waffles being made in the kitchen.  You'd jump out of bed so you could be the first one to sit with him and watch as he poured the batter into the silver waffle maker and then watch until the light went off, signaling completion.  Crawfish boils, catfish fries, Peel-n-eat shrimp... visiting at their house was always a rich experience, and good food was a staple in that equation.  During my visit to Crowley, after Paw Paw's first chemo treatment, I had my first opportunity to cook in Paw Paw's kitchen.  It was a sacred place.  Prior to the cancer, Paw Paw rarely allowed anyone near the stove (except Maw Maw)... it was his zen garden.  The place he enjoyed most.  His kitchen.  

Despite the chemo treatment he had just undergone, Paw Paw stayed focused on all of us.  Making sure we had enough to eat, making sure we were ok.... that was him. A care giver.  On the third day there, he asked me if I'd cook his chili.  "Don't worry, I'll walk you through how to make it" he said.  I was a litle nervous. Paw Paw's cooking is untouchable.  I was expected to prepare one of his dishes and serve it to him and the family?!  Was he aware that my culinary skills were shy of juvenile?  He had faith in me though, more than I had in myself.  He always did.  

He checked on me a handful of times, but the chemo started taking its toll and he had to rest most of the afternoon.  What I will remember most is him correcting the temperature I had the stove set to... medium.  "No no... keep it on the lowest setting possible.  This will allow it to simmer and create all of the flavor.  You can't rush it... it takes time."  At the time I remember thinking, "Goodness!  I'm starving - at this rate we'll be eating chili at 10pm tonight" (I had started around 11am).  But of course he was right.  I live my life fast.... always a pace ahead of most others.  Just like that cooking lesson, sometimes slow is better.  Sometimes allowing something time also allows for richness... for the flavor.  I guess life can be like that.

Later that night I wrote down all of the ingredients and instructions he had given me... I wanted to keep them for later.  You never know.  I'm so thankful I did.  Paw Paw passed away two months later and that is one of the dishes I adore making now.  Prior to 2010 I had never made chili... much less Paw Paw's chili (or any of Paw Paw's recipes)... and departing 2010 its one of my favorite dishes to make, especially when I'm having people over for the Saints game on a Sunday afternoon.  

He never did try the chili.  "I don't like turkey chili - only beef" he had said... when I asked why he had me make turkey chili he responded, "Well you and Carol don't eat beef, and I wanted it to be something you all could enjoy"  That was Paw Paw. Always worried about everyone else.  He never did eat chili or anything that spicy again before he passed.  But Maw Maw told me it was as good as his.... considering they had been married for 50+ years and she had eaten her fair share of his cuisine... I beamed.

So as I settle in for today's Saints game, I'm enjoying the smell of spices, tomatoes and turkey wafting through my condo... chili is almost ready.  And my heart is filled with joy.